The New Year Begins-horribly

Season Of the Witch

Plot: Nicolas Cage is a knight who ends up transporting a witch to a church to be exorcised, or killed, or thrown into a pond to test for buoyancy; however, the witch gets out and chaos ensues.

Here we go: Things that should help this movie

1. Ron Perlman. Perlman’s held his own since he held the throne of New York’s underground with Linda Hamilton. Granted, everyone has ups and downs [Looney Tunes: Back in Action];
2. The Witch. She’s kind of cute.

ANNNNNNNDDD now the things that should enforce this was the worst movie to start the new year.

1. Nicolas Cage. He is like a younger, more balding Anthony Hopkins- he has one character. It doesn’t matter what era, what country, or what sector of Manhattan, Cage can only do one thing- suck. His last film that was somewhat enjoyable was National Treasure I and that was only, only because of his supporting cast. I’m getting sick thinking about it;
2. The Not-So-Special-Effects. It honestly looks like a project from the Sci-fi channel. The one thing the sci-fi channel has going for it is the ability to pump out a ton of films. They do not have the special effects to pump out Hollywood flicks.  Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the sci-fi channel because happen to be attracted to B-rate films- but that doesn’t mean I don’t shudder at Gargoyle;
3. Dialogue. Go to the 1:51 mark on the second trailer. Don’t worry, I’ve linked the trailer here so you don’t waste your time looking for it;
4. Nicolas Cage. I don’t like him;
5. It’s release has already been delayed several months. I haven’t come across anything that gives the postponement any credit, so because I am seemingly on an anti-SOFW tirade, I’m going to say it’s because the producer realized he made a bad decision and tried to postpone it so everyone thought it was already released  and would forget about it.

Honestly, the last decent Cage film was Gone in Sixty Seconds*. It had star-power, creativity, and Vinnie Jones; Season of the Witch does not. My opinion: wait until the DVD is in the 5$ Wal-Mart bin and someone else has bought it, and gave it to Value Village, where you can then get it on red tag discount.

Season Of the Witch [ 0.3 High-Fives, preview style]

starring Nicolas Cage, Ron Perlman, Stephen Graham, and Claire Foy

 

*- this is an un-informed opinion since I haven’t seen Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call- New Orleans, which I heard was pretttty decent.