Wednesday, October 27, 2010

No Ordinary Family: Why is this SO catchy?!

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And to answer that question, I still don’t know.

Just like Smallville, I began watching this show because of the meta-human (superpowered people) factor; with Smallville, I found out it was about Superman and was, without watching a single episode, hooked- and with NOF it’s the same kind of thing, but the twist here is that Michael Chiklis (The Shield, Fantastic Four) leads a super-broken, super-powered, and super-naïve family that never seems to get it-they will use their powers eventually as they were meant to be used. So far, however,  as with ABC family’s productions, it’s all about the lessons we learn. Common lessons in every episode: lying is not bueno; eavesdropping (telepathic or not) and prematurely acting upon said eavesdropped conversations is no bueno; and using your powers to gain advantage over others without powers is cheating and it is….no bueno.

The show started out rough and HIGHLY unexplained. Family goes on an outing to team build, which involves a bush-plane view of the jungle. Of course, it ends in a plane crash and a family born-again as meta-humans. Since then, it’s been introduced that they are not the only ones out there, and it is seemingly more like a corporation that is behind the meta-testing on regular people.  Here is the thing that gets me though- I get that super-powers need to come from somewhere and most often it’s from chemical testing (i.e. Green Goblin), the way NOF incorporates it- it’s just used and boring. The fact that it’s established that the mom works underneath the bad guy at a chemical research company early on is bogus because it doesn’t leave anything to the imagination for the rest of the season. Other meta-humans show up and you want to think “yeah, awesome! SUPERFIGHT!”, but no. Instead, Papa Crimefighter (who DOESN’T wear a mask when he goes out-BIG turn off to us comic-regulars) always gets his butt kicked. And this is outrageous because he is essentially The Thing without the get-up from the Fantastic Four films.

Overall, I don’t know why I am still picking this show up on Hulu. I mean, the super-human thing is always a good enticement for me to watch something, but the way ABC makes their family dramas, it just makes you want to slap them across the face with a corporate-wide bitchslap “Make something EXCITING for once!”

Upsides: People have super-powers

Downsides: No protagonist gets it.

No Ordinary Family [2 High-fives]

starring Michael Chiklis, Julie Benz, Romany Malco, Stephen Collins

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

What’s Up Wednesday: Spider-Man

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This guy, Christopher Daniel Barnes, was the voice for Peter Parker/Spider-man in the animated series. You owe me- I know you’ve always wanted to know!

 

 

 

Sometime this week I watched “Spider-Man 2” and realized that when I first saw it I thought this movie was rockin’. But after watching it this time, I found a lot of things that I hope- nigh- PRAY the reboot takes into account.  For one:

The Villains’ Shortcomings: Why does Hollywood think that killing off all of the bad guys is the way to do it?  Green Goblin/Norman Osbourne doesn’t die, in fact, lives on FAR into the Marvel future. So killing him kind of pissed me off; Doc Ock- one of Spider-Man’s greatest foes and granted there is a moment where Octavius dies, he comes back to life to battle Spidey over and over- and it’s awesome! Their battles are often the best because of the challenge facing Spider-Man, considering Doc Ock’s menacing tentacles.

So long story short: Don’t kill off the next villain. Just like Batman (of the DC Universe), Spider-Man doesn’t kill- he subdues.

Peter Parker:  Stop being such a wuss. Tobey Maguire showed way too much emotion for Spider-Man. I understand that he’s got a lot of pressure on his shoulders, I mean, he has to juggle women, super-villains, and public relations. That would be a ton of pressure for anyone, but that gives him no excuse to cry. None at all. Peter Parker should not and if everything goes right, will not cry in the reboot.

Spider-Man: More, more, MORE smart-ass quips. It might sound odd, but it accentuates the essence of Peter Parker/Spider-Man’s age and personality.  As a youth, he’s cocky, naïve, and completely driven to be kick-ass. The last 3 films have left a LOT to be desired with the quips and there needs to be more. 

I know it’s difficult to do right with having a legitimate human being in the role, but Spider-Man needs to be even more acrobatic and nimble in his movements and his action scenes. There really wasn’t enough of this fluidity in the last films, and with an even scrawnier looking Spider-Man this go around [Andrew Garfield], it could be done!

Finally, let’s get back to what makes Spider-Man and Peter Parker so freaking awesome: his intelligence. Everyone knows that Spider-Man did not develop shooters from the spider-bite, but rather invented them as transportation, tools, and weapons. The best part is Spider-Man develops and creates new web formulas for different baddies and different situations, it’s not a generic goop that shoots out of his wrist. Parker’s intelligence is one of the most intriguing aspects of Spider-Man because he’s not a dimwitted, muscle-head; he’s hella smart, and they need to play on that more in the reboot. Raimi attempted that in the Spider-Man 2 but missed the mark because Maguire’s character only spat off random, out-of-context remarks on science that “fulfilled” the intelligent remarks quota set out by Columbia. For the record, I don’t think this was an actual quota, but seeing as how they went about tossing in said remarks makes me think they wanted enough to please us comic geeks; they didn’t.

So long story short: Marc Webb, please, please, PLEASE do your research: read our blogs, be a fan of Spider-Man already, and for the love of GOD, make this one right. Currently DC comics is kicking the Marvel’s ass  in the box office –the Batman reboot, primarily, but Green Lantern is cropping up to be a pretty damn good film- and Marvel needs a solid box office take over- Iron Man can’t hold up the franchise himself; Hulk was a bust, though Edward Norton’s take was better; and Thor should help, but he’s not here yet.

For the readers of this blog, I’ll keep you up to date as the film progresses. Until then, check this out: Every Wednesday Marvel streams the Spider-Man Animated Series! Click it to check it out!

Monday, October 4, 2010

And now the moment we've all waited for....



NINJA ASSASSIN VS. The EXPENDABLES
( Dedicated to my dearest Russian-Scotsman)


This comparison is going to be a tough one- so I'll get right to it. It's 3am and I'm ready to rock!

Since these two movies are obviously different in composition, I want to compare the films on four main points: plot, action, acting, and overall sustenance.

Plot [Ninja Assassin]
Since Hollywood has taken a real liking to recycling plots, neither Ninja Assassin or The Expendables had an original idea or even close to it. Good-Bad guys turning rogue and Good Guys over taking tyrannical dictators- cliche and run-down. With that said, Ninja Assassin had the better take on it. Raizo (S.Korean pop-star Rain) was abducted as a child and turned into a mad-dog, kick-ass assassin; however, he was conflicted early on in the leadership program because of his big heart and his big hard-on for the seemingly only girl in boot camp. It's this that eventually turns him into the bad-guy destroying good-guy WHICH is also an interesting take because anyone might suspect from the beginning of the film that Raizo was the top-dog turned rogue, when in fact he wasn't. He may have been a promising protege, but he kind of sucked it up a bunch during training, so you are never quite sure his "rank" in the ninja academy until the end when he literally becomes a shadow; the ultimate ninja. Sylvester "Sly" Stallone, being the natural born badass he is, excels at everything and his team is no less awesome. This includes blowing EVERYTHING up, felling Russians (our beloved Dolph Lundgren), and using weaponry that almost has people begging to be made examples of. But as awesome as they were, I'm afraid assassins take the cake with their attempt at the rogue hero plot. I'd actually go to say that the plot of Ninja Assassins isn't used- it's refurbished.

Action [The Expendables]
Don't get me wrong, Ninja Assassin had plenty of action and bloodshed, I mean, how could a movie with that title NOT have ludicrous amounts of action- but The Expendables doesn't even take the cake- it bakes it, decorates it with grenades and then pulls the pins. Both movies offered fantastic action scenes with the hero(es) being up against greater odds. One ninja against hundreds is pretty sweet, considering their 'old-school' albeit wicked sweet weaponry. But growing up in the action era of Arnold, Sly, and Lundgren, and every schmo-joe in between, I grew up being excited and encouraged by fire, loud noises, and the weapons that create them. So call me biased but everything about The Expendables and it's awesome action had me tickled giggly. Truly, I was laughing from excitement during the movie, my best friend was as well. Flat-out, the action category goes to The Expendables.

Acting [Ninja Assassin]
The Expendables starred Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, and Eric Roberts, co-starred Terry Crews, Randy Couture, Mickey Rourke, and Steve Austin, and featured a worthless and useless cameo by California's very own Governator.

Ninja Assassin starred South Korean pop star Rain and Rick Yune, neither of which is that extensive, but considering the only REAL actor is Eric Roberts of Expendables, South Korean pop-star Rain did an outstanding job as his first main-stream lead off of the bright lights of the silver-stage.

Actin' goes to Ninja Assassin- nothing more to be said.

Overall Sustenance [Ninja Assassin]
When I started this blog, I wanted to be able to say "Listen, Scotsman, by the facts, The Expendables was much better than Ninja Assassin"- but if I go by overall sustenance, Assassin wins. The plot was better done, acting told a story better, an it was actually viable. Expendables was an intense ride of explosions and muscles, guns and knives, a hot girl and a huge plane with huge weapons. Both movies had their small awesome things, like in Assassin, the ninjas have a weird-talky thing going on AND they seem to crawl out of the shadows as if they own the own the damn place and Expendables was just plain awesome. But it's the cooler subtleties in Ninja Assassin that makes it wicked.

Here we go: My dear Russian-Scotsman, Ninja Assassin, was better than The Expendables-if you break it down. BUT without a doubt, I will watch The Expendables on TBS or SpikeTV on any day off over Ninja Assassin.

So there, we both win.





Sunday, October 3, 2010

Greg Giraldo: RIP you Comedic Genius



I think there needs to be more attention brought to the unfortunate and untimely passing of comedian Greg Giraldo. I don't know much about the dude except one simple and undeniable fact: he was damn funny.


Sure, he was brash, rude, and often outright outrageous, but if he made fun of you, I feel as if it would have been a compliment.

Kate Ward, Entertainment Weekly, does a good job of reminiscing Senior Giraldo. Check it out--> Greg Giraldo: Remembering the great insult comedian.

Do yourself a favor and go on Netflix-right now- and reserve all of the Comedy Central roasts and Giraldo's stand ups. I would give anything to have seen him live because nothing escapes Greg Giraldo and he reminds you of that. That, my friends, makes for a good time.

Here is a clip from the roast of Pamela Anderson. Enjoy.

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