Movie Review: The Karate Kid

So, without any pretenses and pre-review ramblings, here is my assessment of the Karate Kid reboot: it was actually pretty damn good.

Plot: This was a remake; No further comment.

Acting: Good stuff, mangaloid. Jackie Chan’s handle on English from years of being a Hollywood icon and Jaden Smith being the son of two of TinselTown’s finest, you’d expect the acting to be up to snuff ESPECIALLY since remaking one of mankind’s most favorite films. If you act like a bitch or cry when you’re not supposed to*COUGHtoberymaguireCOUGHspiderman* then you’re not only doing a disservice to yourself for sucking it up, but you’re insulting a classic. Honestly, the worst acting was from the antagonist because for as awesome as he was at kicking ass, he had a really high-pitched voice which made his badassery fall. I know, I know, I shouldn’t hate because the original bad-boy had a higher pitched voice AND the little Chinese kid is, well, a kid but I feel they should have doctored his voice with Michael Clarke Duncan. Outside of that, I was pretty impressed with how well the actors, all of them [mostly the younger Chinese students] performed in the film. Smith Jr. actually surprised me with his chops. He rocked it out in Pursuit of Happyness, but in Pursuit, he had to act like himself, a little boy; Karate Kid, he got the shit kicked out of him repeatedly and STILL maintain is chi. I was half surprised at how much of Big Willie’s swagger stays strong in this little Smith, but at the same time- he’s the heir to the Fresh Prince and his kingdom in Bel-Air, so in truth I was probably more relieved that he’s keeping it in the family. I mean alive. Yeah, you know what’s up.

Action: Damn. Damn. I did not…Damn! I didn’t think little kids could do those kind of things. I have a strong sense that Jaden Smith didn’t do all of his own stunts, but I have a STRONG sense that the little Chinese kid who plays his archnemesis Cheng did. The kid’s acting supports my theory. He was weak at anything but being a complete asshole, but that asshole literally kicked ass and kicked it hard. But more seriously, the action and the storyline, helmed by Harald Zwart took a much more serious tone than the original. It could have been the lack of 80’s pop music (replaced by modern pop music---fack..) or the fact that Ralph Macchio is a goofy bastard to begin with, but the tone of the film was more heavy than the original. The hits, the fear little Smith has of those kids, and the training- oh myGAWD the training! It was intense! Little Smith, something like 12 years old, began looking like that Russian weightlifting buckaroo [click it!]- but with cornrows. The heavier tone is felt more so in this film because of the montage. Granted, in the original, the montage was Ralph Macchio’s best friend, but with the original you felt him get better and gain more confidence. The remake, however, you feel the Little Smith get stronger, better, and still scared shitless- That’s the difference.

Overall: It won’t ever touch the level that the original because the bond between Daniel-son and Miyagi was something that the world had never seen and they became addicted to it, for one. And for another, they remade it before the “most-of-the-original-cast-has-died-and-their-family-doesn’t-mind-a-remake” mark, which weighs heavily on me, personally. But honestly- don’t push this movie aside. Coming from someone who never thought they’d voluntarily sit down and check it out, I actually really enjoyed this film. In fact, I watched it twice before I had to return it, and I normally don’t do that. It’s a good flick that I would say does the original justice by not sucking ass. They use subtle similarities from the old film and you get excited about how the new film will use it [Russian Scotsman, you’d better pick up on what I’m talking about] and you really are not disappointed. Go rent the film and check it out. You’ll see what I’m talking about- all of you.

The [next, Next] Karate Kid [3.4 High Fives]

starring Jaden Smith, Jackin Chan, Taraji P. Hensen, Zhenwei Wang