Movie Monday: Expendables FollowUp

All image rights belongs to Alex Gallego.

Alright, so I know it's actually Tuesday, but yesterday I was busy filling out a job application for a SWEET job down in San Francisco- but I digress- The Expendables review awaits!

I'm going to put this bluntly, so pay attention:

The Expendables is 103 minute Mangasm!!!

Seriously- if you go expecting a good plot, strong acting, and a considerable supporting cast

JUST DON'T GO!

However, you should see this movie if you enjoy the following bullets:

1. INTENSE ACTION SCENES
2. GRATUITOUS EXPLOSIONS
3. 90's ACTION-GENRE SUPERSTARS
4. GUNS THAT DESTROY EVERYTHING
5. RACIST COMMENTS AGAINST A PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE JET LI
6. RIDICULOUS FATALITIES
7. PASSION FOR THE ABSURD
8. RIDICULOUS AND UNNECESSARY QUIPS (inducing nostalgia for the 90's screen writes)

Three scenes to get you to see this movie:

1. Dolph Lundgren's opening move against Somalian pirates (hint: it includes #'s 2, 3, 4, 6, 7)
2. Jason Statham and Sylvester Stallone's plane get-away (hint: it includes #'s 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7)
3. the Final 45 minutes of the film (hint: see the freaking movie)

I don't believe I need to delve much into the other aspects of the film-but realll quickly....acting is not the greatest, except from the main cast. Randy Couture, as I mentioned in an earlier post, isn't an actor and his role here had few speaking lines-which is a good thing. Not the strongest actor; Terry Crews was much better, even though most of his lines included yelling and the sound his muscled man-boobs make when he shakes them (ref: Old Spice commerical)- but all in all, the acting was down on the appreciation level. I almost blame the script for this- but then I remember I'm watching a movie the contains every MAIN actor from the 1990 action-movie scene and then I forget about being such a cynical butt-monkey.

The 'peace-time' cinematography or 'the-moments-when-nothing-is-blowing-up' is too up close and artistic. I think Sly was trying to be reminiscent of his more artistic Rocky moments, but this was just too much. I felt as if I could see the in-grown hairs of the actors developed as the scene went on; however, the action shots were almost perfect for the film. They were quick and efficient, awesome and LOUD, deadly...and even more deadly.

I honestly believe that when I went to see it with my friend, we were the only ones there who actually knew what we were doing there and what we wanted from this film. Because of this, we were yelling, cheering, and laughing at the sheer intensity of the absurd and more than likely pissing off EVERYONE in the theatre to see the plot develop. Eff those guys, we went to be entertained and entertained we were!

The Expendables: 4 high-fives

[starring Sylvestor Stallone, Jason Statham, Eric Roberts, and Dolph Lundgren]